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This article was co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. How marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 44 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status.
This article has been viewed 3,657,541 times. Sometimes after a breakup, you realize you still have feelings for your ex and want to be with them again. Asking your ex to get back together can be scary, but if you take your time and learn from the past, there’s a chance they’ll say yes. What did each of you do to contribute to the breakup? Most relationship troubles do not crop up unexpectedly, but build up over time. The odds are good that it wasn’t a one-sided problem and that there were signs that it was coming.
Take some time and do some soul searching before you attempt to get your ex back. You want to make sure you are not wasting your time or energy on something futile. If so, did you do it after careful thought or in a fit of anger that you now regret? Was it your ex, and did he or she have specific reasons? It is vital that you understand who controlled the breakup and why it happened in the first place.
In the pain and confusion of a breakup, it can be easy to confuse your emotions, interpreting feelings of loneliness and hurt as evidence that you need your ex back in your life. It is important to take time after breaking up and before trying to get your ex back to examine your own emotions and decide if you truly should be with that person. Rekindled relationships often suffer from a lack of trust and can be more likely to cycle on-again-off-again with repeated breakups. Avoid contact for the first month after the break-up.